I can’t wait for the economy to turn around so people like this are forced to part with their ego.
HR people are currently the most arrogant asspandas alive. You know why they filled a resume with buzzwords? BECAUSE ALL THE FUCKING ARTICLES ON RESUME TIPS SAID TO USE BUZZWORDS.
Seriously. And they all have lists of “do” and “don’t” buzzwords. And - of course - all of them say pretty much the opposite of the one before.
“And then I go home to my one bedroom basement apartment that I tell people is really an industrial style loft that I bought myself when I was 24 and quietly jerk off into my Fleshlight before falling asleep on the couch with my balls in my hand. I’m so alone.”
“I also eat vienna sausages. Regularly.”
I don’t even own a Harley. I just use the logo as my icon so people think I’m a tough weekend warrior. I don’t even know how to ride a bicycle and I’m afraid of manhole covers.
Why are people bagging on this guy so much? Sour grapes?
Maybe he sounds arrogant and full of himself, but every single thing he mentioned is good advice.
If your resume is 5 pages, it’s TOO LONG and most places will trash it without looking at it. Even more than 2 or 3 can be pushing it depending on your industry and actual work history.
If you’ve got a job-hopper history, that’s a big red flag for them. It means you’re either more likely to leave the job you’re applying for within a year (which means they could be wasting a lot of time training someone, again depending on the industry), or you’re just a bad employee who can’t hold a job for a year.
There are no excuses to have typos in your resume, especially in the age of spell check. That means you don’t care enough about the job you’re applying for to thoroughly review what you’re submitting.
And if you’re throwing in buzzwords that don’t in any way actually reflect your abilities, then you’re just being deceitful and possibly not even qualified for the position. (regarding the deceit however, I will concede, half of any good resume is knowing how to spin things the right way) If you are qualified, chances are you should know the buzz words, so you shouldn’t be copying them straight out of some blog or magazine anyway.
Also, these things are normally true, even when jobs aren’t as scarce as they are now. It’s good advice and everyone should follow it for the most part.
